The Get-Together

The Get-Together

We pass through dim stretches of freeway, on average four lanes across, before reaching our destination. Except that it takes several passes down a cul-de-sac before we actually find the right house. They all look the same, and it doesn't help that it's dark – and that my dad, who's driving, punched in the wrong address on Google Maps. But he decides to park in front of the one home with its lights on and with people going in and with a large, inviting sign that says “Happy Hanukah!” As it turns out, he guesses correctly.

I find get-togethers to be awkward affairs, particularly when they involve older people who I don't know. There's a crush of them by the food in the kitchen. They know my parents and my brother and sister, but not me. But I look like my dad, and I'm as tall and lanky as my younger brother, both of whom this crowd is familiar with, so I'm not without company. I engage in some conversations, which go pretty well until I mention that I'm a Film Studies major. This usually elicits two responses: one, the person pretends that this is a good thing – “how interesting” – and moves on, unless, on the rare occasion, they talk about their favorite film and explain why it worked for them; or two, the person asks me what I'm going to do with such a major. In other words, how am I not going to starve after I finish college? I give them the three half-baked options I'm currently considering – applying to law school, getting involved with films (in cinematography or post-production), or teaching. The person flashes a grin and says something, like, Well, I didn't know what I was going to do when I was in college either. And then, with nothing left to say, both people have to move on. But for some reason, neither person can look the other in the eye and say, “I have nothing left to say to you.” What ends up happening is the other person and I smile at each other for a while, or one of us says that we have to grab food, or we just drift our separate ways.

I start piling food from the buffet onto my plate, until my mom comes over to warn me that it's not being served yet, though it's already, technically, being served by me. Well, that makes me sound like a jerk. But I usually am when I'm hungry. People begin lining up at the buffet, and I get in line. A tall man cuts in front of me, and I tell him that I was in line before him. He deflects my direct statement with a very dry one – “You'll remember me as the prick who cut in front of you” – that only somewhat obscures what he really thinks I am, and cuts behind me.

I actually knew a few of the people there before tonight's get-together. There's Hannah, who was in our synagogue's then-makeshift teen choir with me. She's in the middle of wrapping up college applications, which she finds exhausting, and she hopes to get into Carnegie Mellon. She still goes to religious school, in large part because she loves our cantor, who I never got all that close to for some reason; maybe it's because I sensed that she didn't really like me, even though I enjoyed singing in the choir. I can't really say. There's Samara, a blond-haired girl who was also in the choir with me, and who's also finishing up her applications. There's Penny, the daughter of a member on our synagogue's board of directors, who keeps her hair cut short and has an unusually sweet smile. She's tired of the shallow, arrogant and sheltered people at her private school, and she wants to get out of California. She's a member of her school's GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). We have a very stimulating conversation.

I lean against the wall, eating chocolate cake with a fork in one hand and cradling my empty plastic cup between an armpit as I listen to some members of the choir sing “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park,” a highly amusing song by Tom Lehrer. Finally, we leave the house and walk to our car. It's hard to see. There are only two streetlamps to light the way.